Kalyani Pautex

Kalyani DuPont

for Kalyani                    from Elias

Sail on soul, out of your body,

you’re not made of something that dies.

Spread your heart wide, let the light take over.

WAVE OF REMEMBRANCE FOR KALYANI

Kalyani Pautex was born in 1926; I believe her birth name was Janine; she married and had 4 sons.  Kalyani was one of Murshid Fazal’s first mureeds, perhaps as early as 1968, certainly 1969.  Fazal and Valia’s twins (Mark and Frank) were born at Four Winds in the UK in late 69 and in 1970 Kalyani moved herself and her sons to Four Winds and helped Valia.  Late ‘70 Fazal drove his family (Valia and the four children) to India, as he needed to establish residency there and he asked Kalyani to also go to India, and without a second thought she packed herself and boys (not sure how many of the 4) into a Citroen 2CV (Omar’s detail, can you tell?) and drove to New Delhi.  She was there for a while, I think until Isha and Fadua arrived, helping Valia and being of general support to the Dargah and Sufi Movement team. 

When Fazal established his centres in Katwijk in the Netherlands in the late 70s, Kalyani lived there, she was a ‘mother’ in one of the communal houses there, for many years.

Kalyani had a reputation in the Sufi Movement and the Sufi Way of being a healer.  She was a healing conductor in the Healing Order and it is said that her prayer circles were always very deep and profound.  It is no doubt this deep connection and inner strength which kept her going through her life challenges.

A story I was told which reflects her charisma and charm – Murshid Fazal gave her a chilla to go to Scotland’s highest point and walk down to the south of England.  He was hoping to give a her a ‘freedom’ break of several months…. But.. she was so attracting that she kept being given lifts and completed the chilla in two weeks!

from Omar :

Kalyani was one of the first to become a mureed of Murshid Fazal, I believe as early perhaps as 1968 or 69. I imagine she must have first met him during one of his visits to headquarters which was then in Geneva.  The commitment which she gave was so genuine that for her there was no other path.

She followed from her heart and she gave the Sufi Movement as it was then, her all, without reserve. For her this commitment was above all else.

When Murshid Fazal moved to Four Winds in 1970, she packed up her family and came over to the UK to join them and to help my mother Valia after the twins were born.

When Murshid Fazal packed up his family from Four Winds and drove cross country to New Delhi in India Kalyani simply packed her own car, and her kids, and followed.  Some of you may remember her little fragile Citroen 2CV – what a journey!

She was always a great help and support to Valia and all of us children – my sister and young brothers – in those India years. Ultimately, she had to return to Switzerland due to Visa restrictions on Swiss citizens, while Valia and the children remained in India for a little longer. If I remember rightly that little car carried her and her family all the way back home.  It must have been a pile of bolts when it re-entered Switzerland.

I know that Valia is one of the people that will miss Kalyani greatly. They communicated frequently over the last 50 years. Valia has told me that for her, Kalyani was her soul sister, a sister of the heart.   I will always remember, and am grateful, for the support that I got from Kalyani and all her boys throughout the many trials, struggles and long journeys together. Kalyani was always an open welcoming heart with no agenda or ego. She was love personified and always had a smile to give you even if she could not say it in words – you felt it, in your heart.

With loving kindness and a kiss on this her last journey.

Love Always, Omar

From Yona:

I can say so much about my long lasting friendship with Kalyani.  Until recently, her capacity for listening, her curiosity and anxiety about the state of things in the world, her psychological insight into people, her heartful empathy with her sons and friends, remained unchanged despite aging.  Her handwriting – she loved to write – was firm. Her smiles, radiant with love and tenderness.

After a stroke at home and hospitalisation into a palliative care unit, her body slowly declined. She died at age 92 on March 30th 2019.

Kalyani remained deeply attached to our Sufi Way from the late sixties onwards. She had also at a later stage developed a strong link with a Tibetan Buddhist lama healer and other Buddhist friends. Both spiritual traditions helped her immensely to endure the hard trials she was to meet during her life.

A beautiful interfaith ceremony accompanied her flight  into light, which took place on April 4th, 2019, in the afternoon. (On this same morning, we had the surprise to wake up in a town covered by a thin layer of snow !)  After Damien’s (her younger son) introduction, two young monks offered their Tibetan prayers in duo voices, followed by a recorded Tara song.  After a silence, personal homages were offered to Kalyani by four very distinct people.

Silence again, and silence always between the various contributions.

The Sufi Way part of the ceremony began with an improvisation on harmonium played by Omar Inayat-Khan (who so kindly came to Geneva in order to participate to the memorial).   Sutras by Sufi Inayat Khan were read, as well as a farewell sent by Pir Elias, translated into French.   Then Sufi Inayat Khan’s prayer for the departed was read in English. The ceremony ended with Sitara’s zikr of gratitude played and sung by Omar, accompanied by the voices of Sufi Way friends living in or near Geneva.

Finally, each person present walked quietly to bow in front of Kalyani’s coffin, enbellished with most beautiful flowers, and peacefully left the chapel.

Such an intimate and peaceful ceremony expressed so well our love and respect for our dear Kalyani.

From Suzanne : The two pictures above and below were taken in 2016 by Martine, in a beautiful restaurant in Geneva at a belated celebration of her 90^th birthday.  She reflects such radiance and the depth of soul…. And that is how I remember her, the few times I did meet her in the late 70s through to the 90s, I don’t recall times now, but it would have been at Four Winds.

from Els and Agnes:

A long time ago in Katwijk I met Kalyani. She asked me if she could practise massage with me.  I want to thank her for all these massages she gave to me. There was so much love and care in it.   I remember always her sincere smile and her being there for me.

Els

Dear Kalyani, Els and I gave each other regular massages for several years.  Els passed on the love and techniques you gave her.  Thanks for that.

Agnes

Excerpts from Kalyani’s contribution to ‘Heart of a Sufi”, a book published in 2011 to honour the 20^th anniversary of the passing of Pir-o-Murshid Fazal Inayat-Khan.

.. (In the summer of ‘68, in Katwijk aan Zee) he told me, ‘From now on your name will be Kalyani.  I will put you into a bigger pot, thus your life will be able to flourish and expand.  Until now you have been compressed, restricted in a very small pot.’  This was an incredible day for me, an unending day of blessing, the beginning of my true life.

Murshid, is it possible you could read within people’s hearts in such a way, giving to each of us the exact remedy for becoming oneself, the unique condition being to trust you?

How did you dare to send a completely inexperienced, wounded woman with her two youngest sons, 11 and 13 years old, in a 2CV by road to India? What nonsense in the eyes of any reasonable person!  What an extraordinary miracle, in fact, to give her back deeply from within herself, the self-confidence she had so badly lost.

From Karim:

In late 1973, Murshid Fazal informed me a lady from Geneva would move in to the Sufi Cultural Centre in East London which I was running at the time. He’d given her the task to take over the health food store.   A community of between 5 to 8 people were living there at the time and it hosted the Qalandar Music shop and, indeed, a health food store.  A few days later, Kalyani moved in and we gradually got to know one another.  Although it soon became clear that some of her life had not been easy, she would readily smile and laugh.  She had a very light and joyful personality.  Kalyani was a little older than most of us, a bit of a mother figure, and her harmonious and even tempered presence proved invaluable in our community life.  I have fond memories of the many and varied long conversations we had in the evenings and her warm high-pitched voice remains clear in me.  It was just a moment ago.

with love

Karim

From Mangala:

I’m going to start by going right down memory lane to find ‘snapshots’ of all the highlights I remember of Kalyani.

In the hallway at the Universal one summer in the 70s she had just come out of a meeting with Murshid. She was completely shocked because of having been given the chilla of driving to India across land with her two young boys, Christophe and Damien. I believe Hasan drove with them across Turkey, to India through all those dangerous countries but she did it and I believe the experience healed a lot of past trauma. 

Then the life in the Sufi Centre, running ‘Healing and Health’ in Stratford with Rat Ki Rani the cat, acquired to take care of the mice that ate holes in all the stock. The old photo appeared in the local paper advertising the health shop. We used to make and sell lentil pasties and cake from the pictured kitchen and in today’s world it would not be allowed in such conditions. Kalyani was very popular with the local people seeking cures and she developed a good knowledge of the herbal medicines and teas she sold.

Then Kalyani living in the little Dove Cote next door to Sandro and me at Four Winds. It was like a quiet retreat inside and many of us would stop by and felt nurtured by her sweet loving presence.

Then at ‘Son Marc’ in Katwijk being our house mother. One time I remember being very distraught and she comforted me there for many hours.

Next all the years in the two rue Verdaine Centres in Geneva at programmes in the 80s. Her regular healing group and meeting up in the pictured rose garden in the park for decades after I had moved back to the UK.

Personally I don’t know what I would have done without her, and I’m glad to have told her often during very difficult times over many years visiting both Sandro and his mother in various hospitals. Running for the bus to Kalyani’s peaceful and beautiful home where she listened patiently to my stories and sent me back feeling supported and strong. It’s the end of an era now in Geneva but the beginning of another one with new and old friends coming to the fore which bring another kind of richness to life.

with love, Mangala

Homage to Kalyani, from Mailah

I first heard about Kalyani in 1974. I didn’t know her as yet.  She was then just coming back from an incredible trip to India after a long stay there.

When I met her some months later at the Khankah, my first impression was that I have always known her. This was the starting point of a long friendship which lasted more than forty years.

Although she looked vulnerable, Kalyani had a very strong personality, which enabled her to undergo the many hard trials she was to meet. She always remained dignified and stood tall all through her life.

I have shared with her so many experiences and a deep intimacy, whether in London, in Katwijk-aan-Zee, or later in Geneva.

There has been laughter and tears, but our friendship, despite some reefs, remained firm and unchanged.

Even when distraught and in deep sadness, Kalyani remained always present for her children, her close ones and her friends. A welcoming haven for many, she embodied the Sufi message without needing to speak about it.

My elder sister flew off in peace.

With my unending love

Mailah